


Of Honey and Lies

by nerdfox102



Category: Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby (2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mob, Big Gay Mobsters, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, F/M, M/M, Mob AU, Nick and Gatsby are both mob bosses in the 1920s, Nick is a BAMF, Rivalry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2019-11-09 00:31:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17991458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdfox102/pseuds/nerdfox102
Summary: Rival gangs hunt each other down with the backdrop of lies and a 1920's sunset. Nick Carraway is the fearless leader of The Watchers, a relatively new gang in town. His rival is only known as The Great One. Come along his journey of love as fate throws characters through a loop.





	1. Decisions, Decisions

**Author's Note:**

> I had the idea of Nick as a mob boss and it kinda spiraled into this. This is going to be the first work that's like a lot of chapters so i really hope everyone enjoys It. Updates will hopefully come about once a week, though knowing myself it may change to once every two weeks. Lets get this journey started.

I am a good person. All throughout my life I had been given many opportunities to be good. I worked my hardest to be a good son and a productive member of society. I really did. I like to be the truth in most matters. It is even worse when I find that people I trust have lied to me. I hate it when people betray my trust. I think this is why I get especially cross when people try to cheat me. I don't like it when people try to take advantage of my kindness.

I was pulled from my thoughts by a heavy grunt from one of the men in front of me. My eyes swept calmly over his broken form, taking in the crimson red dripping from the shallow cuts along his cheek. He looked as if a corpse had risen from the ground and had become reanimated. The hulking mass of my hired muscle pulled back from the fresh wound that now adorned the man's pale shoulder. Tom pulled his arm back, preparing for another blow when the man spoke.

"I swear boss I haven't done nothing. I gave you all the money." desperately exclaimed the man. He began to shift his body in an attempt to face me fully. His deep brown bangs were thick with his blood as his coffee eyes met mine. The expression he wore on his face was one of a caged animal, who knew deep down, they were caught. I had only a brief moment of sympathy before I remembered why this man was on his knees in front of me in the first place.

"I don't like lies Mr. Perry," I stood from my spot lounging on my chair. He flinched away from my sudden movement. My arms swept open as I punctured my next sentence with shrug. "Daisy has given me concrete evidence that you have been cheating me out of my cut."

"Don't believe that lying whore. I swear on my life that I haven't done anything," he replied quickly. My eyes flicked from the man to the small form of Daisy standing to the left of him. Her face was masked in calm but her eyes burned with righteous anger. It almost looked as though she wished to kill the man herself. To save my cousin the trouble I gave Tom the signal for another blow. Tom pulled back and struck again, this time kicking the man in his stomach. The man nearly doubled over as he cried out in pain.

"First of all, that 'whore' is my cousin," I said calmly. "Second of all, insulting her won't get you anywhere. Third of all, this whole situation can be solved with one simple thing. Open his bag Jordan." Upon hearing me call out her name, Jordan brushed her auburn hair away from her face and walked over to the man from her spot languishing on the wall. She pulls the man's bag away from him and begins to rifle through it. 

"Hey boss," exclaimed Jordan. "Look what I found" held gracefully in her gloved hands was a large wad of cash. My eyes swept between the man and the money. His eyes fixed greedily on the wad before collapsing into despair. He knew that this is concrete evidence for his lies. He would not get away with his transgression against me now. All that was left was to wrap up his short miserable life. I almost felt bad for the poor man.

I fixed him with a smirk. Even if I felt bad that doesn't negate the fact that he did lie to me. I began in a mocking tone, "Haven't done anything hmm? Then how would you explain all of this? looks completely honest. Count it out Jordan."

I watched as she began to count the money. Mr. Perry had become silent since the money was pulled out. His body attempted to fold into himself, almost as if he was trying to hide. He shook similarly to a leaf in the wind, never stopping. It took Jordan only a few seconds to count the money but with the tension in the air, the moments stretched into hours.

Jordan had finished counting the money. The room looked expectantly at her. Everyone held their breath for Jordan to begin talking. She spoke up in her sweet, husky voice, "It's way more than he said he had Boss. An extra hundred or so. "

"Boss please I swear I didn't mean to keep all the money. I was going to give it back." Mr. Perry spoke quickly. I could tell his thoughts were scrambling. I imagined his mind racing for any excuse that would save him from the inevitable future of his death. This image filled me with a sick sense of pleasure. I knew I shouldn't like it as much as I did. The power I held over this man's life was almost as intoxicating as the liquor I sold.

"That seems likely," I said with a glare. "What to do about those unfortunate lies. That's the real question." Thoughts rolled through my mind. What to do about this situation? There were many different scenarios that could play out, ranging from bloody to clean. I could shoot him right now. Simple. I could let Tom have a row with him. Bloody. The possibilities were endless.

The man hung his head in shame. He seemed defeated. He spoke softly and said, "I just wanted the money to help my kid sir." His tone was fueled by regret. If he died, his last thoughts would be how he let down his child. My heart stopped. I remembered his kid. Sweet boy, about ten years old. Would amount to something great. Emotions raced across my mind. I felt almost bad for him now. To chop down an innocent life along with his would be unbearable.

I shook off the pity I was feeling. This wasn't a time for emotions. I needed to make a strong decision. "You still tried to cheat me out of my money, doesn't matter your intentions. Now you've put me in the position of figuring out what to do with you."

"Want me to take him out back?" asked Tom. "Show him what it means to toy with the watcher?" He was excited by the prospect of taking someone's life. I knew that Tom took a sick pleasure in the darker parts of this line of work. Almost too roughly he grabbed the man's bound hands and pulled him into a standing position, ready for my sentence of death.

Jordan caught my eye and looked expectantly at me, almost as a challenge. Her chestnut eyes seemed to read my every thought. She was my closest friend, she knew the conflict brewing in my head. She had similar arguments while working for my rivals, The Greats. Her eyes clued into her position in the argument. I could tell that she thought it was best if he was taken care of. She always was the one who made quick, analytical decisions. It's part of the reason I trusted her. My head agreed with her. My heart disagreed. My heart told me that wasn't the right thing to do. 

My mind raced as I made my decision. Everyone was waiting for me to speak. My eyes went to the man in front of me. His eyes pleaded for my forgiveness. My thought went back to his statement from earlier. He wasn't lying about his kid. I had met the boy once before. The kid was a charmer, even at his young age. I thought of the life he would lead if I killed his father right now. The sad image penetrated my thoughts. My head and heart stood screaming in a reckless battle. My mind lost.

I sighed briefly. "No, I don't think that is in order. I believe that sending him on his way is what needs to be done. No coming back. No more money. No more jobs. Got it?" The man nodded, clearly ecstatic that he would live to see another day. "If I see you around he again or if you try to mess with my gang at all I will not be as lenient. Tom let Mr. Perry go." Reluctantly, Tom released the man's hands. He reached around and got his knife and cut the man's arms free. 

The man rubbed his arms where the rope had bit into his skin. "Thank you so much, sir. I won't forget your kindness, sir." He turned to walk from the room. Seeing him leave filled we with gentle regret. Could I let him go that easily? I knew I couldn't. Words of my weakness would spread and I'd lose my image. I decided to leave him with a scare.

"One more thing." I walked over to the man slowly. He looked warily at me, almost as if he expected me to ignore my previous kindness and stab him right then and there as if my selflessness meant nothing. As quick as a bullet, I punched him hard in the stomach. The man doubled over in pain. I leaned down to the man and whispered into his ear. "If you ever try to insult my cousin again they will never find your body. Understand?"

"Understood Sir," The man exclaimed as he began to run from the room. He moved as if he could not run fast enough to get out of the warehouse. I found it almost comical. Once he had left the grand room, the stiffness in the air let up. We could all breath easy. 

Of course, Jordan was the first to speak up. "You shouldn't have been that lenient Nick," she said teasingly. She walked over and slightly ruffled my hair like I was her unruly child. I didn't take nicely to the teasing and crossed my arms in a pout. This behavior earned a laugh from both her and Daisy.

After their laughter subsided, I sighed. I knew Jordan was right. Softly I said "I know Jordan," I quickly stated the easy explanation of my intentions, trying to save myself from more merciless teasing. "His family was just close to the police department that's all. I just realized that the cost of covering up his death could sink us."

Jordan smirked. Skew knew me too well. She could tell that wasn't what I was thinking about when I let the man go. "Him bringing up his kid had nothing to do with it hmm?" she said playfully.

I shook my head in disbelief. "You know me too well," I replied with a smile. I walked the short distance to my desk and began to sift through the pile of papers that littered the surface. "Anything else we have to do today?"

"No that unpleasantness was it." exclaimed Daisy as she walked over to the chaise lounge and flung herself on it. Ever the dramatic, my cousin draped her hand over her eyes delicately. Her drama brought a small smile to Jordan's face as she moved to follow her friend, sitting at the end of the lounge. I caught Jordan's eyes and gave her a teasing smile. Her eyes bore into me with mock anger. We both burst into a small fit of giggles after my teasing ended. 

Tom stalked up behind me and tried to look over my shoulder at the papers littered on my desk. "I really think that dude learned his lesson. I messed him up real nice. Don't think we're gonna be seeing any more of him" interjected Tom. I turned my eyes toward him, fixing him with a pointed glance. He turned away from the papers, feigning innocence. 

I rolled my eyes and went back to work. "That's what we can hope for," I replied, wishing for the calmness of the rest of the day to last forever. I knew deep down that it wouldn't. There was electricity in the air, and I intended to use it.

~~~~~~

"I hope I heard you correctly" I lounged back, my fingers wrapped around an English cigar. The man sitting to my left nervously tapped his foot. He appeared worse for wear, having a black eye and multiple cuts all over his body.

"I believe you did. In exchange for the watcher's whereabouts, you will give me a thousand dollars and your protection." He spoke arrogantly, probably thinking that his idea was the best thing ever. I nearly chuckled at the thought.

"You Mr. Perry, you have got yourself a deal." I punctuated my sentence with a gesture with my cigar. "Though you probably could've gotten a bit more if you played your cards right." I took a puff. I was finally going to take down my rival. All thanks to one of his own betraying him. 

A thought crossed my mind. "Might I ask what caused you to betray the watcher so quickly as you did."

"He was so inconstant. One minute he'd be lost in thought, the next he'd be tearing your head off. I couldn't stand the fellow. He nearly took my head off after I kept a little more of my profit." He stopped his tapping, anticipating my response. his reasoning was unsound. I knew I could barely trust the creature in front of me. He'd be kept on a short leash.

"Interesting. Very interesting old sport." I ended my response with another puff from my cigar, letting the smoke drift from my lips as I contemplated a future without the Watchers.


	2. Restless Actions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Watchers are resting in Nicks lovely home. How quaint and calm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is way better than the first one! Still, any grammar or spelling mistakes I hope they aren't to distracting. Enjoy chapter 2!

The room shined with familiar, calming light. A soft glow that was pulsing and blazing. I felt the calm and comforting sensation of being wrapped in a blanket. Security and warmth attempting to fill me up to my very soul. My friends and I were sprawled about on the ornate furniture that dotted my living room. They were talking about something or else; I wasn't paying attention. Jordan was sat on the couch, a similar contentment revealed on her face. Looking down her arm I see her hand resting delicately on the head of my cousin, resting in the lap of my right hand. Daisy wore a small smile as she stared up at her best friend lovingly. If two people could be more perfect for one another I had yet to see it. Though they were both to dumb to realize their feelings were reciprocated. Tom sat uncomfortably formal in the chair on the other side of the couch. His form out of place against the otherwise delicate room. He tried to sit with the regality of a king, but his stiffness left him looking more like a target.

Today was like every other day. We dealt with minor dealings and proceeded with the general running of the Watchers. Business had been easier than normal. Recently, the Greats had been silent, almost reminding me of a poisonous snake, coiling up in an attempt to strike. The comparison spread the smallest bit of worry against my otherwise simple monotony. The slight danger the the Greats offered often filled me with a sick sense of excitement. I knew it shouldn't thrill me as much as it did, but I was excited by the new possibilities the Greats brought. Thinking about my rival gang was often a source of undue excitement and pleasure.

Even with my general contentment, I felt the throughs of boredom cross my mind, filling me with the restless nature that had been appearing ever so often as of late. Tom said that it was because I needed to get laid. What he doesn't know is that I do have sex. Just not a type of sex he would approve of. Physical pleasure was not the issue. I felt a more emotional restlessness. To be simple, my life was easy. Boring almost. I just wanted something exciting to happen for once.

I was awoken from my thoughtful restlessness by a harsh rustling from outside the open window. My head shot up. My thoughts immediately turned to those of insane murderers and disastrous robbers. I could feel my heart beat louder and louder. I kept my ears open for any other potential noises and was met with near silence. The silence made me question myself. I wondered if I had even heard the noise in the first place. 

The rational part of my brain told me that the noise could have been nothing, maybe just my brain's attempt to relieve some of my boredom. My overactive imagination had struck again. I needed to stop reading Frankenstein so late, it was making me paranoid. I made a silent agreement with myself to put down my horror novels earlier in the evening and opened my ears instead to the heated conversation going on in front of me.

I was completely lost to the scene in front of me. Tom and Jordan were locked in an argument, their eyes full of rich flames, manifesting the hatred of their emotions. Both of them shouting, the exact words lost in the heat of the moment. Their voices growing louder and louder every second, the tension in the room about to explode. Daisy caught my eye and gave a little shrug of indifference. Tom and Jordan arguing wasn't a new experience for any of us. The two were both headstrong and unapologetic. This lead to them clashing over the smallest things. Daisy and I both rolled our eyes at their behavior. I sighed dramatically and grabbed my drink from the end table, taking a long swig and feeling the burn trickle down my throat. This might take a while.

A few sips and more yelling later, Tom and Jordan decided to bring me into their argument. I heard my name being called, and I looked once again at the scene in front of me. My eyes were again met with the sight of their anger that filled their arguments. 

Jordan spoke first. "Who do you think is right?" She spoke quickly, clearly ready to put an end to the long argument. I met her gaze with a confused stare. I hadn't been listening to the argument at all. I guessed that they mistook my disinterest for quiet observation. After a moment of confusion, a small look of realization crossed her face. "You haven't been listening this entire time have you."

I nodded. I had only a vague assumption to what was going on. I guessed that they both had a little to much to drink and were now arguing over a small detail of life. Jordan chuckled slightly at my response. She knew me well enough to know that I wouldn't have been listening, so I was sure my answer didn't surprise her. She was used to my habit of getting lost in my thoughts.

Tom jumped at the opportunity to gain control over the situation. He leaned his body slightly forward, trying to draw my attention into the words he was about to say. His voice was hoarse and raspy, a hint of self importance dripping through as he spoke. "What I don't understand is why you trust a women as your right hand." I wasn't shocked by his arrogance. Tom was the kind of person to believe himself to always be the smartest person in whatever room he waltzed into. If only his simplistic mind could comprehend the true idoiocracy of his actions every once and a while. I sent a well positioned glare at Tom and he looked at me with only the smallest bit of reproach in his eyes. "I'm just saying."

With the small addition of those three words, Jordan's back stiffened. This wasn't just a small petty argument like the rest of the time. Jordan's status as a female was often brought into debate, many thinking that she was useless and dull. I, however, knew different. Jordan was one of the smartest, most passionate, electric people I knew. She was able to operate even faster than the strongest of my men. She was a testament to the true hidden strength lying inside every women. 

I met Jordan's gaze from across the room. Her's glinted with rage as the cogs of her mind began to form her next argument. I could tell that she was ready to go head to head with Tom, even if it was only a word battle. I smirked. The full argument would have been fun to watch.

"Why wouldn't he trust me? Because I'm not a big strong man like you? I can do everything you can do and I can do it better." From her spot on the couch, Daisy joined with a quick amen. This brought a small smile to my face. My cousin was sweet. She supported the arguments that Jordan brought up. Never as outspoken as our friend, Daisy's agreement was a show of support for the women she loved.

Tom began to open his mouth, with what I was sure to be all sorts of insults and battery. Before he could further the argument, I decided that it was my turn to step in. I knew that Jordan Daisy were able to fight their own battles, they didn't need my help, but this was a battle I wouldn't let them fight alone. Most of the time Tom was harmless, albeit a slight annoyance. This time, however, he had stuck a nerve. Many had always questioned why I would allow someone like Jordan to help headline the operation of my precious gang. Besides the fact that Jordan was able to function the gang just as well as any male counterpart I had in the past, the truth is Jordan and I have an deep level of understanding about each other. We are both aware of our unique place in the world, the two of us being not the straightest standing flower of the bunch. In all honesty, Jordan is my best friend and I wouldn't be able to do what I do without her.

"Who else would be my right hand? Who else survived the Greats well enough to fully understand how the twisted mind of the Great One himself works? Have you Tom? Would you have had the strength to walk out of the fires of hell and continue thriving?" I didn't mean to sound so furious. I was just insulted by his close minded views, especially since he knew Jordan was just as good as him. Tom opened his mouth to begin a new sentence, but seemed to be at a loss for words. Not a sound uttered from his lips. Me taking Jordan's side has effectively ended the argument for the time being. An tense silence now filled the room.

Daisy, ever the moderater , broke the silence with her silvery voice, "Do you guys want to hear the news I overheard at La Belladella? It's a real juicy story." The tension dissipated. Daisy had the habit of removing any negative emotions from a situation and replacing them with neutral or positive ones. It's was a power of hers. She began her exciting tale or betrayal and hairspray, the room once again settling into calm simplicity. Part of the way through Daisy's exciting story, I caught a glimpse of Tom mouthing an awkward apology to Jordan. I smiled. All was right with my world once again.

The intense story was interrupted by the song like chime of my doorbell. The room hushed immediately, similar to the calm before a storm. I spared a pensive moment to think about the rustling I heard earlier. I dismissed the thought as nothing but my imagination and motioned for one of my friends to open the door. I was too content in my spot to move a single inch. I had become one with my spot on the chair.

My eyes flicked between Jordan and Tom, the two having a second battle this evening. This time it was a battle of will to see who would be the one forced to get up. Jordan did a small tilt of her head to the peaceful face of the girl in her lap. Tom let out a melodramatic sigh. He had no such thing holding him in his position. He would be the one to open the door.

He stood and began to stagger slowly toward the door. The drinks he had already consumed fueling the uneasiness that he found while walking. He was only gone for a moment or two before I heard the sounds a struggle from that direction. A second later Tom dragged a struggling man through the archway.

With sudden motion,Tom threw the man into the middle of the floor. His crumbled form standing out against the bright carpet. Tom aimed a kick at the man's abdomen and with reckless abandon, shot the full extent of his strength into the man. He let out at low moan and collapsed again onto the carpet.

I briefly questioned Toms extreme reaction to the man's presence, also wondering the identity of the broken man in front of me. To gain a hint of his identity, I flicked my eyes from the man on the floor and up to Toms face. The look on his face told that he valued the man in front of him little more than a common street dog. I could tell from the hardness of Tom's expression that the man in front of me would not be getting out of this situation unscathed. With a grunt of pain, the man began to shift his body. His hands came up and he pushed himself into a kneeling position. His dark hair bounced with a simple curl. I recognized the dark color.

"Mr. Perry what are you doing here? If I remember correctly I told you that if I ever saw you again you would never survive the encounter."

The man took a moment to respond. "Please Sir. It's just that- I just- I needed-" The man ran his hand through his wavy hair. He seemed at a loss for what to say. The words fell from his lips in an inorganic jumble of syllables. "I need money real bad. My kid..."

I crossed my legs and turned to fully face the man. Interrupting his statement I began, "Is that so? Well, in that case, you shouldn't have tried to cheat me. You would have been nicely supported by our little dealings." This man had the audacity to lie to me and then beg for his job back. Disgusting. I picked up my glass and took a long sip of my drink. The alcohol burning its way down my throat.

"Thats what I came here to talk to you about Sir. I think that I would be able to help you. I learned my lesson. I'll never try to cheat you again. Please, all I'm askin' for is one more chance. I'd do anything" He spoke in a rehearsed tone, never once letting his true emotions filter into his words. I could tell that he was trying to hide something. His hands shook visibly from their resting place in his lap. His eyes kept darting from face to face. Textbook behavior of someone who was hiding something. If only I could figure out what he was hiding.

"What makes me think that I could ever trust you again?" I lowered my eyes, gazing over the man with bemused interest. I knew that whatever he had to say it would never be enough to change my mind over the situation.

The man was at a loss for words. I truly don't think that he could comprehend that I wasn't just going to kill him on sight. It took him a few moments but he finally began to speak. "I had always done right by you for years sir. I only messed up that one little time. I swear on my life that it will never ever happen again."

"Do you think I'm an idiot?" I inquired, truly not believing this man would be dumb enough to beg for his job back.

"No sir. Not at all sir." With nervous energy the man shifted his body from his position kneeling at my feet. He sat back on his heels, akin to a schoolchild being given a time out.

"Then what in a million years makes you think that I would ever believe you." I paused for a moment for the gravity of my words to sink in. "I will give you ten seconds to be out of my sight or I will end you." I was already being more than kind considering that the last time I saw him I threatened his life. 

"But sir I really need the money and I can swear that I'll do better this time. No cheatin no nothing I've leaned my lesson I swear." He had the nerve to attempt his argument again. 

I was fully done with his groveling. He had been warned to stay away, he couldn't even follow that simple threat. I would never be able to trust him anymore, so he was of no use to me. I waved my hand at Tom. "Take care of him" 

"Boss please. I swear..." He gently rose onto his legs unsteadily. The man then began to inch ever so slightly toward the open window. Maybe he thought he could escape. My eyes stared intently at him as I got up. He seemed to shrink in fear. I turned away from him as I picked up my crystal glass. 

"Don't get blood on my furniture Tom." I downed the rest of the contents of my glass in a single gulp. My feet began to drag me in the direction of the kitchen. "I need another drink."

I turned the corner and strolled down the hallway, rounding into the kitchen. My footsteps against the tiles echoed through the grand room. My legs carried me almost automatically to the hidden liquor cabinet. My eyes scanned the different bottles, searching for my favorite champagne. My hands softly ghosting over each bottle, one of the few true comforts I had recently. The other room had gone strangely silent. I turned my head towards the void, waiting to hear the bang that would snuff out another life. The waste of human life was rampant in the business I ran. Each time a shot that ended another life I almost wanted to sigh from the utter waste of it all.

The echo of rapid gunfire met my ears. Gunshots, many of them. The slightest inclination of this error rolled around my mind. Why there would be multiple gunshots when Tom was only ending the life of one man. 

Almost as if in a comedy of errors, my brain caught up with the implications of this night. The disgraced man vowing his allegiance if only for forgiveness, the rustling of leaves from outside my elegant window, the inching towards said window. Those were not the sound of my gunshots. 

I stopped running my hand over the bottles and began to frantically listen for any sounds that told me my deduction was wrong. Screams and yelling met my expectant ears. My observation was correct. I tried to calm my racing heartbeat as a thousand escape plans shot through my mind. This was not the time for panic. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and began to creep steadily back to where my friends were. 

The sounds of gunshots spread, plagued my hearing as I peered into where my crew was engaged in a battle for their lives. The couch had been overturned to provide cover for the three of them. Daisy was protected by a determined looking Jordan, a gun held strongly in her hand. Tom clutched at his bleeding shoulder, his eyes filled with panic. A group of men strew about from the window like rats from a cellar, honing in on the weakness of their prey. Horrific characturatures of demons and beasts donned their faces. Each mask more monstrous then the last.

At the center of it all was a man wearing the terrifying mask of a lion, its jaw wide as if a mighty roar would escape any moment. I knew right away I was looking at my nemesis. An aura of death and madness surrounded his form as he took aim at my cowering crew. My eyes were captivated as his gun rose to form. The power this man radiated shook me to my core. The way he stood, confidently, radiantly. I could immediately tell why he had such loyal followers. If it was in his will, he would find a way to burn down the world. A split second and all my friends would be smudged from existence. I tore my eyes away from the man they called 'The Great One' and looked back at the forms of my crew, grit and determination replacing my fear. I would not let these people die for me. I would not let this man take control of me.

I had to move quickly and quietly if I was going to save my crew. I needed a plan and fast. The fire of their lives was close to being snuffed out. All the gears in my head clicked into place and focused on that thought. Fire. Fire would provide enough cover for my crew and would hopefully trap the others in long enough for our escape. I turned and hurriedly began to make my way back to the kitchen.

I reached my destination once again. The liquor cabinet. I filled my arms with the bottles of whiskey and bourbon. The rest would be fine to stay here and burn. Walking slowly along the hallway, I poured the bottles one by one. Soaking the plush carpet with flammable liquid. I eased my way up the stairs, hoping to not grab any attention towards myself. Continuing my method of saturating the ground. I paused briefly at my extensive library. In regret I though of all the beautiful books that would burn in this careless fire. The knowledge that would be lost to the world. I closed the door and moved on. Nothing was worse than a burnt library. 

I finished my project as quickly as I could and made my way back to the main hallway. Not much had changed. My friends were still cowering behind the couch as The Great One seemed to float in his victory. I would have to pull this off without any thing going wrong. I couldn't bear to see my friends die. 

In my hands I grasped the final bottle of alcohol. The finest whiskey I owned, now would be used to save the lives of my friends. In my right hand I held the bottle, ready to throw. In my left was a small candle, ready to ignite the gorgeous house I once called home. 

I situated myself behind the entry to the living room, preparing to save my friends. Figure stood around the corner, waiting for my moment to strike. I would have one shot. I couldn't miss. 

"J!" My voice sounded frantic and horse as I screamed my nickname for my friend. I turned around the corner and threw the bottle onto the plush carpet of the room. I would have to trust that she knew what my screaming meant. The candle flew next, quickly engulfing the entire carpet in flames. I saw the forms of my three companions stager into the hallway. I rushed to meet them.

"Don't stop!" I pushed them along the hallway, hoping desperately not to hear the sounds of following footsteps. We made it down  
the hallway into the kitchen. I turned and looked back to hear the sound of footsteps thundering across the rooms. 

I pushed my crew toward the back door. "Keep going. Get in the car. Don't wait for me." I yelled. The three of them staggered off, Tom being supported fully by the smaller figures of Daisy and Jordan. It was up to me. I would have to clean up this mess.

My hands shook as I fumbled the matches from my back pocket. The flames from must have died down for I could here the cursing and screaming from around the hall. I lit a few matches. The flames dancing across my vision. I mumbled an apology to my book collection and threw the matches to the ground. 

The carpet was soon engulfed in a fiery inferno. I was captivated for a moment, the words to describe the scene in front of me dancing across my tongue. I turn and fled. My feet pounding into the floor as I raced away from the burning building. I threw open the back door and ran for my life. A car stood, engine roaring, in the driveway. I could see the face of Jordan baker behind the wheel. My cousin sat in the backseat. She saw my running form and began to wave me wildly toward me. She moved to open the door and I dove in a second after she opened it. 

"Drive." She screamed as she pulled me into the car and shut the door. Her voice was frantic. Jordan took no time in slamming her foot on the gas and pulling us into the street. 

I made the mistake of looking back. I saw my glorious house engulfed in a sea of flame. What I had spent almost a year of my life meticulously building had been destroyed by my own hand. An orange mountain strewn against the background of a nighttime sky. I knew deep down that nothing would be left after the building was finished burning. The sight of a group of men running on the lawn fully dashed my hopes of this fire being a success. The other men had survived. I tore my gaze from the disaster in front of me and looked back at my friends. They may have survived, but we did too. Now The Greats would have hell to pay.

~~~~~~

I glared up at the sight in front of me. The building was engulfed in flame. My group had lost three good men today. I was beyond angry. This once in a lifetime situation had cropped up and we had failed to bring down the Watcher. The only consolation was the fact that I knew the watchers name and appearance. I was disappointed, the man did not fit my imagined ideal of him at all. Where I imagined intellect there was none. Where I imagined soft strength there was hard muscle. The watcher had turned out to be as fake as can be.

I turned from my position observing the flame and marched over to my poor little informant, who was sputtering an excuse to my second in command.

"I swear I didn' think it would end this way! How could I know those sons of binches' would be crazy enough to burn their own house down."

His inability to take responsibility for his failure made my blood boil. This man had lead us into a firefight. His idea lead to three men dead and yet he had the nerve to make excuses for his actions. The anger poured out of my body and into my hand as I hit him with the barrel of my gun. The man coughed out a small bit of blood as he held his face gently in his hands.

"Any last words?" I asked politely, fully ready to rid the world of his filth. I cocked the gun and took aim at his forehead.

"We had a deal!" he stammered.

"Deals off." My anger took over. I took aim and fired. The mans body dropped onto the pavement. There was a slight pause where the only sound was the crackle of the flames. I took the gun and placed it back in its holster. "Someone clean this mess up."

I turned to see my second in command looking thoughtfully at me. "I see that you're restless Boss. You sad that the watcher didn't live up to your expectations?"

I paused briefly. Not wanting to admit that he had gotten it spot on. "We know the identity of The watcher now. That's all that matters. It's time to take him down."

"Now there's a statement I can get behind!" Wolf clapped his hands together. "Whose cleaning this mess up?"

I walked away from my crew, back to the fire now burning even higher into the sky. The orange standing out quite well against the dark blue. I felt the need to speak to the watcher, even if he wasn't here himself. "We're coming for you Watcher, and next time you won't be so lucky. Tom."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Muhahaha. Loving your excitement now Nick huh?  
> In all seriousness I hope you guys enjoy! And from now on updates may take 1 week or (more likely) they will come every two weeks.


	3. Introspective Perspective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Days after dealing with a life that went up in flames, Nick and Co. deal with their newfound loss of control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long!  
> I haven't been like okay mentally and combine that with some good old writers block and you get a very long awaited chapter. Hope it's worth the wait!

"Tell me again what happened." I spoke to my crew. It had been only a day since my precious house went up in flames, the security of my old life along with it. I was still racing to take inventory of the events that occurred. Each of my friends had relayed the story to me, from their own experience. All leading me to the same conclusion. It had been a trap. I was a fool. I should have seen through the mans actions. My boredom it lead me to be careless. 

Jordan cleared her throat. "After you left, Tom was almost right on him. But he ran to the window and called out. I had only a second to think before I grabbed Daisy and shoved over the couch. I looked up and saw that Tom had gotten shot in the arm. The other group continued to fire, just to scare us I think. They weren't aiming for us that's for sure. A few minutes go by and then you yelled my name and we bolted." She moves to run her fingers through her auburn hair. It's a sign she's stressed beyond all belief. Similar signs of anxiety were displayed on the bodies and faces of everyone around the room. "I'm just glad we all made it out alive."

Everyone silently agrees with her. To come out of that situation with our lives was pure luck. Had I been a second two late or had the fire not caught we wouldn't be standing here right now. I look at my friends scattered around the small office. Jordan poised anxiously on the edge of an office chair. Daisy sat on the leather couch, tapping her fingers deftly on the arm. Tom pacing back and forth, reminding me of a caged animal at a run down zoo. I was glad that they were still here.

The infiltration had left us all in shock. It had never occurred to us that the Greats could reach us in our own home. I felt almost as if any rules regarding the terse rivalry had been thrown out of the metaphorical window. The Greats had squeezed any sense of moral legality away from the already illegitimate businesses we both ran. 

Whoever the Great One was, he meant for us to cower our heads in fear. The Greats believed that they had triumphed over us, bringing the king watcher himself to his knees. The snake had struck, willing its poison to be spread along countless roads. I could not let this happen. I needed to regain the confidence in myself and in my team. This was not the time for someone else to gain control of the situation. I needed to come out in charge. The Greats would not win today.

"We need to shut down or move any operations he was involved with, just to be on the safe side. We can never know what else he told The Greats." I pushed my way over to my desk and shuffled around for a pen and paper. Finally finding a piece that wasn't occupied by my scratchy handwriting, I started a list, numbering the page as I went down. "What else did the man know about?"

There was a slight pause as everyone searched their brain for answers. The man had been with us for what seemed like an infinitesimal amount of time, so thinking of things he could have known couldn't be the most time consuming task. 

Daisy was the first to come up with an idea. "He knew the code for the joint on West 69th street. That's where he took me out." I scribbled the address onto the paper. It was one of the smaller bars I owned. Wouldn't be to hard to repurpose and relocate.

"That one won't be difficult to move. Tom will you notify the workers and Jordan could you have a new place picked out tomorrow?" The two nodded. It would be essential for me to effectively move everything along and I needed my friends help. I had faith that they would be able to do their respective tasks. 

Tapping the pen against my lip, I though about what else the man could have known. I was drawing a blank for any specific people he did his dealings with. Before he was caught cheating me, he had left only the barest of impressions on me. He felt as if he was the softest whisper of winds on a otherwise calm day. I assumed he was little more than a mangy stray living in the rest of the grand world. Searching only for a new high. This lead me to be reckless. I underestimated how much a man can do if their mind is set to it. I need to be more careful from now on.

Looking down, I can see my hands shaking lightly over the clutter of my desk. Though I tried to keep my calm demeanor, the events of yesterday had rattled me further than anything I had witnessed before. I closed my eyes, willing the images of dancing flames and lions manes from my mind. They wouldn't leave my thoughts. No matter how hard I tried, my sight was still afflicted with the image of that horrific mask. 

My eyes shot open, searching for any source of distraction my new world had to offer. I tried going through some of the papers on my desk, but the sheer number of documents made any coherent thought in my brain turn to irrelevant mush. Any information about the man was lost in the clutter. I really should have taken Daisy up on her offer to organize my desk. It was always such a chaotic mess.

Jordan stiffened on the chair, drawing my wayward attention back to her as she began to speak. "His usually dealt with Butcher and Tony. Occasionally, he also helped Walt deliver for River. We should warn them to be extra observant until this thing dies down." Her voice was steady and strong.

Jordan was always the best at remembering names and faces. I always admired how she was able to remember any person, even if she met them only briefly. She was good with people. It was one of my favorite qualities of hers. Jordan always knew who people were with almost scary detail.

I added the four names onto the list. Something about her statement had jogged my memory. I was able to remember another part of my business Mr. Perry had dealt with. He was always hanging around one of the big storage houses near the tip of the island. I wrote down the name and resolved to send Jordan there tomorrow morning to check if everything was alright.

"They're tough. They can handle anything The Greats will throw at them." added Tom. It was his attempt to stir up any residual hope we held. He was truly the least eloquent man I had ever met, but for all the times Tom is rude and callous, his heart is sometimes in the right place. Then he talks about his superiority and the moment is ruined forever. This time wouldn't be any different. His statement almost made the world feel normal again. I appreciated his attempt to set us back into regularity, but it only furthered my sense of lost control. 

This entire disaster had resulted in me losing the precariously stacked authority over the danger filled streets of New York City. If only I had stayed in the Midwest where there was nothing but corn and broken dreams. Maybe the agitation of the rest of the world could have been held off for the rest of days. But I would have still been restless. Even more so than I am now. Forever chasing the forgotten memories of a world before blood and death.

My restlessness leads only to the destruction of things that I love. I grasped on to my resolution to be better like a dead man latches on to the light at the end of the so long tunnel. This situation had spiraled into a nightmare of endless misery. A dark foreboding wave of bottomless disasters threatened to swallow me in my entirety. I felt the desire to clutch onto feeble means of any amount of control over the situation. Anything to make me feel less like my heart was being twisted and pulled by something out of my grasp. The winds of change blowing me further and further away from my goals as a leader and as a man.

This situation needed to be brought to a close. Tied with a bow. Finally put an end too. "Anything else he could have known?" my voice held steady. It did not betray my hopeless mindset. I would need to put on a strong and emotionless front to inspire the same from all of my employees. All lose ends in this situation would be tucked away neatly and life would go back to normal.

"No I don't think so. He wasn't that big of a deal." replied Daisy. Daisy tried to lighten the mood. She had never liked meaningful silence, preferring soft words and even softer lies. Daisy possessed the inability to tolerate anything distasteful for more than a few moments before she erupted into any sort of noise to break the tension.

"Until he was."

My statement killed any other lighthearted conversation the group was willing to have and brought my sense of foreboding bitterness into the world around me. It felt better to know how small of a deal that man had been. But the slight improvement in my mood ricocheted into negativity when I remembered how my underestimation of the man brought the disaster before us.

The weight of a heavy depressed silence filled the room. Everyone went back into their own little worlds, leaving me to think about the future of my gang. All four of us had lived through enough stress for a thousand lifetimes in the past week and there would be more to come. I gave a quick thought to what would happen to the four of us not that our place of residence had gone up into a clash of flames.

Daisy would obviously be the spokesperson for staying together. We had been living in the same house for over three years now and when it comes to big changes she was not for them. She was quite stubborn in that respect. Jordan and Tom would agree that the four of us should stay together. Safety in numbers and all that jazz. But I knew deep down that I couldn't do that. It wouldn't be fair to put their lives at risk for the sake of keeping our family together. I felt guilty enough about putting their lives in danger one time, let alone the now constant danger that would prevail every moment of my life. I didn't want them to be placed in the line of fire just because The Greats had signed my death warrant. Deep down, I could tell that The Great One himself wouldn't stop until I was six feet under and they had taken everything from me.

I couldn't let those I care about be put in danger once again. No matter what protest come from my friends, I wouldn't be living with them this time. For the safety of the group, I would live alone for the first time in my life. The rest of them should still live in relative proximity to one another though. I would be the only one to suffer in solitude. 

The relatively closeness to one another would help ease the transition of house to apartment. I briefly think of all three of them sharing some penthouse but scrap the idea almost as soon as it crosses my mind. The scandal of two woman living with a man where none of them are related is to much for poor New York to handle. The pure sin of it all. Because of course the two women will be vying for the affection of the man and may, gasp, touch him before marriage. 

I revised the earlier thought and decided to have just Daisy and Jordan sharing their lodgings. If worst came down they could portray themselves as a pair of siblings moving to the big city for the first time. I wouldn't dare to dream of separating the two of them. They would need each others strengths to push through this trying time. The two of them are the best when they are together, reflecting and refracting their best parts off of one another. It could also help to push them into the relationship they so desperately crave. It's a win-win situation 

Tom would do well in an apartment alone. He was a man who enjoyed having his own space for the many people who crossed in and out of his fancy. It would of course have to be close enough to the others so that he wouldn't waste away from lack of friendly banter with Jordan. I would never tell her, but he once said that he lived to tick her off. Oh the woes of friendship. 

I gave mind to the several apartment buildings I had in my possession. These apartments were a part of the more legitimate side of my life. In order to throw off any public suspicion, I bought several large buildings and converted them into gorgeous apartments. These buildings would legitimize any previously suspicious money I had at my disposal. I kept the rent low, aiming for the dreamers and artists of New York to have a pleasant place to stay while they were getting on their feet. The littlest one, The Azure Building, was relatively new. The rooms were not all filled up with existing tenants, so it would be the prefect place to house my friends. 

Now what to do about my living situation. I would need a place with enough space for me to continue to effectively run things, but still small enough to throw off any pursuit from the Greats. If I could find a small cottage, somewhere unassuming, I would be golden. I resolved to settle in my friends first, the look for a place for myself to live. 

With the plans laid out, it is time to bring the rest off crew up to speed. I cleared my throat and spun around to face the three of my closest companions. Before I could even begin, Jordan had read my expression.

"I don't like that face Nick. That's your 'I have a dumb plan' face and when you have a dumb plan it normally doesn't go well for the rest of us." She knew me to well. Her nonchalant statement brought a melancholy smile to my face. Her care for me would make this even tougher than it needed to be. 

"We need to lay low for a while. Take inventory of the events that have happened," Jordan moved to speak again but I cut her off before she could interrupt me, "Which is why I have decided that the four of us need to move to a different place to live."

"He finally says something intelligent for once." joked Jordan. I was used to her teasing. It was one of the reasons the two of us got along so well. We were both able to joke about ourselves. I resisted the strong urge to stick my tongue out at her.

"This is perfect I've been dying to decorate a new place." Daisy could hardly keep the excitement from her voice. "Is it a house or an apartment Nicky?"

I paused for a moment, readying myself to face the inevitable wrath of my cousin when I said I wouldn't be living with them. My face must have betrayed my intentions of leaving the rest of the behind because Jordan took the advantage of the pause and spoke again.

"You aren't gonna live with us are you?" She crossed her arms and glared at me with the heat of a thousand disapproving suns. Every mark of her displeasure could be seen in the crease of her eyebrow and the rigidity of her stance. I looked to the ground. I hated when Jordan got like this; It made me feel as if she had seen every atrocious act I had ever committed, the collective weight of a thousand misdeeds held under her gaze.

This wasn't the time for her disapproval. I had to do this to protect her and the others. I straightened my back, brought my eyes up to her intense stare and matched her angry tone with my own steeled voice. "I am the target. I can not endanger any of you more than I already have." I braced myself for the incoming onslaught of objections.

The three of them all spoke in unison and their words flowed over me in a angry a cacophony of sound.

"That is bullsh*t and you know it Carraway." Tom was furious, his words filling with the 

"Come on Nicky you can be serious" Daisy was in disbelief. She didn't care about any danger, she just wanted to keep her life in the way it's always been.

"How did I know you were gonna pull a move like this" Jordan was annoyed. She had been the first to think I would do something like this so she was the least surprised. "Nick quit the act. The Greats didn't even see you. It's not the time to get a hero complex and start playing god."

I knew she was right. They hadn't seen me. I was lucky enough to go for a drink before the chaos had begun. Still, I couldn't take the chance of hurting the ones I love.  
"Jordan you know I can't take that risk."

"What are you gonna do huh?" hissed Jordan. "You gonna find a little house a thousand miles away and send us to live there? You gonna forget about us because the Greats knowing our face is a liability? You gonna take us out back and liven us up and go find yourself a new crew?" With every word Jordan moved closer and closer, her body shaking with anger. This was too similar to what had happened to her in the past. The Greats had thrown her to the side, cast out from heaven like the first fallen angel. Jordan's anger ran hot like the fires of hell she crawled through to arrive, standing on her own two feet, at my side.

"Jordan you know I wouldn't do that." She was still angry. I could tell by the set of her lips that she still wanted to chew my head off. But I had to explain what actually would happen. "You guys are gonna move to the Azure Building. Jordan you're gonna stay with Daisy and Tom your gonna be alone. You'll still be able to check up on one another. I'm going to find a little house away from the city where I can still run the business. No one is getting kicked out of the gang and no one is going to get hurt. Okay?"

The three of them took the information in. The living situation wouldn't be the best by any means, but it is what needed to happen to ensure everyone's safety. I couldn't let them get hurt because of their care for me. One by one, all three of them nodded to my proposal. The trio of them knew that it would take a monumental notion to change my mind about the situation. 

It was set in stone. The three of them would be moving to their apartments as soon as tonight while I searched for the perfect place to set up for a while. 

~~~~~~

The coolness of the night bit into my skin as I stared out into the darkness. I welcomed the tiny pricks of pain, they soothed my red hot anger into something lest spellbinding. I stared out from my balcony across the sound, watching the gentle waves lap upon the beach. The serenity of the water in front of me also helping to quench the desire for flames I had gotten since that fateful night two lifetimes ago.

My plan had failed. My crew had failed. Not only did the watcher still live and breath, but the casualties were taken from our side instead. I sent a silent curse to the man who foiled my scheme. All thanks to that disembodied voice, that single syllable that resembled my name, the house went up in flames and the watcher escaped. If I wasn't so infuriated, I would be impressed. Lighting up the house was an ingenious idea, one that I thought only would exist in a movie. I imagined what I would do to that man once I had captured him, the delightful little sounds he would make as I burned him with the fire of his own creation. What fun we would have.

All thanks to that coward my plan failed. Days have passed and I was still so far away from the man that had consumed my every thought for months. All thanks to that little b*tch. With the though of the Watcher, of Tom, I was filled again with so much disappointment. I had expected so much better from the watcher. Not a brute of a man, more physical than intellectual. I expected someone more like the man who burned a house to save the others inside, with intelligence a plenty. The idea that Tom was who had caused me so much trouble disgusted me.

The sound of a car dragged me from my brooding. I looked down to see a cab pulling into the drive next door to me. It peaked my curiosity. I knew that the little groundskeeper cottage was placed for sale recently; The man in the cab must have bought it. I wondered if he was content to live so close to money and if he had none himself. 

I immediately came up with a fantastic story for his existence. He would be an old man, recently widowed, looking for a new start to life. He would drink tea, garden profusely, and be full of old wisdom that would help me finally match my rival. We would become friends. Spending our days swapping stories like we had known each other for years. I resolved to start this friendship as soon as possible. I would visit this man tomorrow.

I closed my eyes and let the pleasing thought of a new friend mingle with the imagined sounds of the screams of my rivals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go! Do you think Jays assumptions are going to lead him to disappointment once again? Or will he be pleasently surprised? Find out in 1-3 weeks when I figure out what the English language is!
> 
> And just a side note sorry for any mistakes I wasn't paying the most attention while editing.
> 
> Peace out!


	4. First Light.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick has moved in. He now sits and awaits fates hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh I'm so sorry in advance this chapter is a roomba with knifes attached that I'm letting loose into the world because it's been way to long since I posted. 
> 
> Anyways hope you enjoy!

I closed my eyes and breathed in the stale stench of the room around me. Late last night I had moved into this house under the cover of darkness, hoping to mask my presence from anyone's prying eyes. It would not do me well to be seen much in this house. Word could travel back to my rival and they would come knocking on my door. My presence in this house would have to be limited, if only for the protection of the rich fools who had the misfortune of living next to me. I would have to wait until the world was calm again to fully explore my new surroundings. For at least today, I was stuck inside this wretched building.

With a great reluctance, I opened my eyes to take in the sight before me. It was obvious that this house had not been used for many years. Every single inch was covered in a thick layer of dust and grime. There seemed to be a thousand cobwebs occupying every corner of the high ceilings. My nose wrinkled in disgust. If there was one thing I hated more than my rival, it was spiders. The eight-legged creatures crawled their way from the 5th circle of hell to taunt my every moment. Their eight eyes staring directly into my soul and judging it accordingly. 

Last night, I hadn't found the time to clean the house up to my standards. I scarcely got in the door before collapsing onto an unmade bed and falling asleep within moments. My tired brain reasoned that the events of the prior few days had more of an effect on me than my self righteous brain was willing to realize. I felt like I deserved to rest my head for a while. If only that had been the case.

My dreams were haunted with a single image: The ornate lion mask that my enemy had donned. It's sinister eyes and even worse mouth. The mere thought of the mask sent a shiver down my spine. For all the misdeeds this man had done, I must concur that he knew exactly how to present an image of terror. If I wasn't so weak I could almost complement him.

No. I couldn't afford to think like that. With a shake of my head, I resigned myself to reexamine my new temporary home. My eyes scanned around, looking for something of interest to take root in my mind. 

In what may have counted as a living room, large white sheets covered the ghosts of the items that came with the purchase of the house. From what I could tell, a small couch and two tall backed chairs. Facing the couch was the thick outline of a brick fireplace. It stretched all the way to the ceiling, almost as an attempt to reach a long sought after eternal rest. 

Turning to my left, I saw the bare bones of a desk. A deep wooden table, with a few drawers underneath. It was not at all what I was used to, but it would have to do until I could rebuild a new home. On top of the desk, I had laid the suitcase filled with the few belongings I deemed necessary for me to take. A few steps forward and I began to fumble with the items hidden inside the case. A couple of important documents. A few spare changes of clothes. There was nothing truly personal about anything I had taken with me. Everything I loved had died in that fire.

All of the books that I had collected -every single novel, play, and poem- had burned right along side the framework of my house. My books were one of the most precious things I had ever had the privilege of owning. It hurt deep within my heart to not be surrounded by the comforting presence of hundreds of thousands of words at every moment. Nothing felt worse then my betrayal of their love as I felt every single word written in my library die out. 

The burning of my library was one of the most heinous acts that the Greats had ever made to happen. The only consolation was that my friends had survived the fire. If I hadn't been able to rescue them, I would have laid right down in the middle of the blaze, never to rise again.

A small crack brought my mind back to reality. While thinking about my lost collection of books, I had somehow managed to snap one of the many pencils I had also packed in my case. I toyed with the broken pieces in my hand for a moment, trying to reflect on the circumstances that placed me here at the very moment in time. A deep sigh reverberated through my body.

I gently placed the pieces back into the desk and stepped away from the mess that had accumulated in under an hour. Somehow I managed to make a mess everywhere I decided to exist. Daisy called it one of my many endearing quirks. I found it to be a tiresome chore. Having to constantly clean up the messes made by my restless actions. I turned away. I no longer felt that I could look at this disorder without feeling utter disgust at who I had become. Who The Great One had made me into.

I walked the few short steps into the kitchen. A pale and peeling yellow paint greeted me as a crossed the threshold into the room. I ran my hand gently along the small countertop, slowly rising to open the swinging cabinet doors that stood before me. I then realized I hadn't remembered to bring any sort of dish or cup. I mentally cursed myself, resolving to send for some later today. Just another failure added to the growing list.

Just as I resigned myself to going thirsty, something caught my eye. It was the smallest table ever, with a single chair. Tucked in the corner, hidden amongst the peeling paint and the cobwebs. Without thinking, I walked over and brushed my hands along the well weathered surface. It was the first table I had ever seen that was truly meant for only one person. It was a table that could only ever be for a single entity. This table was for a man who had no one to truly share all the simple, personal things life had to offer. A man with a table like this would sit and eat alone. So dreadfully alone.

It was perfect that this table was for me.

I remembered one of the reasons that this house had stuck out to me during my search. It was a house rented to only one person. There was no need to find a roommate. No need to be questioned about any wife or lady. It was a room that was truly perfect for me. Without the small circle of those whom I trust, I was a single man. A desperately lonely single man. 

I had given up on trying to find the type of love I so desperately craved. Most everyone who had ever met me wanted something in return for their friendship or their time. They saw the gifts I had to offer and decided, without asking, to take them for their own. Almost all of the people I had come into contact with tried to take advantage of my money and my kindness. 

In the past, I let them. People took what they wanted and left, leaving me hollowed and empty, day after day. It was with the arrival of one Jordan Baker that I began to take little bits of myself back from the thiefs that stole from my heart. She inspired me to give myself and my emotions worth. Her self love spread through me faster than a good shot of alcohol. Her arrival on my doorstep six years ago brought an entire new outlook to my life. With my newfound courage, I would not be abused again.

I decided to become more observant, always searching for a sign that people were using me for their personal gain. My piercing blue eyes only added to this newfound mysterious allure. Within months of my new self confidence, an exciting nickname began to swirl around the streets of New York. The world began to call me The Watcher. And it was a name I accepted in stride. 

The Watcher was no longer a weak little boy, he had grown up and accepted the fate that life gambled to him that day ten years ago. He would no longer be walked over. It was finally time to gain the respect he deserved.

Only a few rare exceptions truly liked me for who I was from the beginning. They cared about me as a person, not just for what I could give them. Those people were few and far between, leaving me with only a close group of friends. Their sweet and unconditional love was the reason why I was willing to burn for them.

For the rest of humanity, I keep my distance. It is easier to protect ones heart if only those brave enough to pass the trials are let in. I take my solitude, my watchful eyes, and spin a tail of someone who is deeply in control of themselves and their emotions. I have my fun, but then the fun is over. We go back to our separate lives. It is a situation that works for the both of us. They get their fix of a itch that they can't scratch anywhere else, and still get to go home and hide their true self from the rest of society. I get to feel loved and cherished for a moment in time. Both sides benefit.

Hidden in the dark is the only time my true feelings can be explored. I take what I need and then am off in the wind. I preferred things to be easy like that. No time for silly attachments that could end in sadness and misery.

My skepticism of people true intentions never allowed for many people to become close, even if their intentions were pure. I was to afraid of letting the wrong person in. The last time that happened, it almost cost me my life. The world is much simpler if emotions run in quick bursts of exchanges in the dark. No chance of getting hurt if you never allow your heart to be cornered.

It has taken a while, but I have accepted that I shall be alone throughout most of my life. Even though I've accepted this loneliness, I still feel the bitter ache of longing in my heart. I can feel it desperately wanting someone who will cherish me for who I am. But logic must prevail.

I realize how inconvenient it is to love someone in the business I run. Romantic love takes work to exist within gangs. So I take what I can get readily available and don't ask for anything more. No matter how alone I feel on the inside, I must protect my heart from unwanted carnage. Even if my heart sometimes has other ideas.

My intense session of self loathing was interrupted by a sharp noise that could be heard from the outside of the door to my cottage. My head shot up and I immediately rushed to find the pistol I had brought with me. Half mad, I had convinced myself that it was The Great One come to steal away my life. I threw the different papers of of my desk as my hands frantically searched for the means of my salvation. 

After what felt like eternity, I found the gun on my desk. It had been hidden under a pile of the least important documents I could ever have hopes of needing. The cool metal in my hand did nothing to calm my rising nerves. Looking down I could see just how far into fear my imagination took me. My hands were shaking like a tree in the harshest of storms. I waited like a man ready for death to hear the sounds of a gunshot breaking through the window. 

No such sound came. Instead, another round of sound could be heard. The noise was unlike the loud bangs of a guns blast. I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding in. The lack of immediate gunshots worked to soothe my frantic thoughts. A more logical idea pushed it's way through the depths of my mind. Someone was knocking. The noise wasn't anything dangerous. Just some innocent knocking.

I crept carefully up to the door, holding the gun ever so slightly out in front of me. Even if the sound was not a shot, one could never be too careful. The last time I had been careless with someone knocking there were grave consequences.

The weight of the metallic object in my hands felt unnatural and forced. I hated having to carry my own gun. I was used to someone else carrying one instead of me. Daisy and Jordan were two of my most talented shots, and I would have given anything to feel their strong presence here guiding me through this precarious situation.

My feet dragged me to the door as a final round of knocks rang out rather impatiently. I took a deep breath in. It was easy to assume that the person at the door just so happened to be a curious neighbor. It was equally easy to assume that my previous sins had caught up to me and my entire career was about to be ended by whomever stood on the opposite side of the door. With this unknown variable I could feel my heart rushing it's way out of my chest. 

I hated this weakness. I was the fearsome leader of The Watchers and head of the most important gang across all of New York. It wasn't right for me to be so afraid of a simple knock at my door. Out of spite for my own selfish fear, I hastily turned the knob and opened the door.

Instead of being greeted with a gun pointed at me, the bright light of a morning just emerged from a dark evening filtered into my eyes. Standing directly in front of the sun, his head bathed in a golden halo of sunshine, stood the man who I assumed had knocked.

The brilliant light shined beautifully over the mans equally golden hair. A fresh breeze ruffled his otherwise perfect existence. His entire body was lit with an almost ethereal glow and for a second, it seemed as if the light was coming from him, not from the sun framed perfectly behind him. My eyes began to adjust to the new level of light and I noticed more details about the man in front of me.

The man was tan. His skin spoke of many days spent living in a world that was soaked with sun and warmth. With that sun came the smallest scattering of freckles along his nose and cheeks. Those freckles were so delicately placed that I was reminded of an old saying that called the marks the kisses of angels. This man had most definitely been kissed by many angels before.

I continued to deeply examine the man's face. I found myself transfixed on each part of his existence, one after the other. I never knew which part to linger on. Just the superficial presence of this man had helped to bring back some light into my life.

However,the beauty of this situation was tainted when my mind began to shift to analysis of this mans demeanor. The expression worn on his face was perplexing, a mix between what I could assume was awe and disgust. It was if he couldn't decide how he felt about my existence. His entire body stood rigid and unmoving. Almost as if he were poised to readily attack anything that moved. The intense stare that donned his face furthered the small amount of intimidation that this mans prescience filled me with. Somehow I had felt the energy this man produced before. Every ounce of my being responded danger. I couldn't place why it began this way either.

It was a long and difficult moment before either of us had the nerve to speak. It was almost like each one of us was so caught in our private judgment of the other. But finally, the beautiful man in front of me opened his handsome mouth and began to speak.

"Hello. It's nice to meet you." His voice was clear and deep, breaking the slightly tense silence with a hint of emotion coming through. I couldn't quite place the exact feeling. This mystery only added to the allure I found within his voice. I found myself wishing for him to never lapse in speaking, just so I could hear this sound for a moment longer. "I'm your neighbor. Jay Gatsby. I live over there"

He extended his hand forward and I grabbed it. The connection filled my body with a pleasant warmth. The connection of our two hands was strong and steady. Almost to much. His grip was quite intense compared to my own. His hand was strong enough to hint that he had been quite vigorous in recent years. The fierceness of his grip only furthered my sense of intimidation. This was a man who held a hidden strength. Only shown to very few.

I nearly had forgotten to reply back. I was too lost in thought to form a coherent sentence. All that escaped my mouth was a soft "Oh." My thoughts raced at a rapid pace, trying to form a meaningful statement. The honey of the other mans voice had struck me to my very core and stopped all rational thought for a moment. After making a fool of myself, I cleared my throat and attempted to start again. "Hello. I'm Nick. What brings you over here this morning?"

"I saw you moving in last night and wondered what kind of man moved so late." He chuckled. Instantly I felt better about this man. His laugh was clear and strong. With the brightness of his laughter his entire demeanor shifted, clearing out his previously intimidating personality. The softness of his laugh made my heart twist in an unfamiliar way. I could have written a thousand words about the emotion behind his laugh. "I'll have to say you aren't what I expected"

With the end of his statement he moved his hand and nervously twisted the back of his hair. His actions clued me into that his last statement wasn't meant to offend. For some reason I trusted this. With the previous intimidation blown away with only a hint of his laughter, I somehow found myself drawn to him. Like how a moth is driven to a flame.

A teasing smile grew across my face in response. His acknowledgement of the potential hurt behind his action excused and possible pain that it could have produced. His notice of my late move did add a small seed of worry to the back of my mind. Who knows what other people saw my actions. 

I pushed this worry aside. This was not the time to think about the dangers of my existence. I had to focus on the man in front of me.  
With no trace of malice or pain I began "Was I a good or bad surprise."

His eyes lit up at my response. I had eased any previous worry about the rest of this interaction of within his mind. His face broke out into an easygoing smile. It was the kind of smile that everyone wished they could revive. There was not a trace of false happiness or any idea that this smile wasn't real. With this smile, every ailment of human existence could be cured, just so long as this man continued his happiness. It was a smile that only existed for a small blip of time, easing the suffering of this world for a brief moment before fading out of existence. His smile instantly drew me into him, like I'm sure thousands of people had been drawn in before. 

If The Great One appeared right then and there I could die a happy man because I had gotten to see his smile.

"Definitely a good surprise." The fact that he had indirectly called me good made my heart again do a twist. I still couldn't place what this meant. But somehow, and more importantly, he was even able to keep his sweet smile when he was replying. "I can already tell we're going to be great friends"

This confused me. His complete trust of practically a stranger. I could never have understood why he trusted me so perfectly in this way. Gatsby was a strange man. So easily trusting. I wondered what his reaction would have been if he found out who I was. Perhaps with my hesitation of trust, my next statement came out rather snappily, "How can you tell that we've barely just met."

This brought another round of laughter from Gatsby. I guessed that he wasn't easily offended. "You strike me as a very interesting person Old Sport." His hands reached up in mock surrender. After my expression clearly showed my confusion, he elaborated on his statement, "There's just something about the look in your eyes." 

It was now my turn to laugh. Gatsby had clearly picked up on the trait that had made me into such a fearsome leader. My strange eyes. Even away from my gang I still intimidated people with those eyes. In a small consolation, Gatsby had described them as interesting. Which made my stomach clench in an unfamiliar way. "I have been told my eyes are quite mysterious." My thoughts ran away from me as I added on the next statement. "I do have to say that if we are going off of eyes, yours do not make you seem very trustworthy."

I had outright told him that I didn't trust him, but he still wasn't fazed. He just kept smiling in his personable way. His tanned arm came up mockingly, resting his hand upon his chest. "I am wounded Old Sport. I assure you that my eyes betray nothing but a kind and gentle heart."

His easy reply to my hostility finally won over my hesitation. It would not do me much good to be so blatantly rude to this man. After this long, his intentions could be nothing but good. Besides, he wouldn't be using me for his own gain. He probably thought I had little to offer. I softened my tone and again with an air of playfulness, began a new statement "Your eyes betray much more than that."

They're was a slight pause after I spoke. This pause wasn't one of malice or of a lack of anything to say. The silence between us portrayed a perfect understanding that had settled along the both of us. The calm did not hold any awkward, instead I felt like it furthered our relationship past any point it had previously resided in.

Gatsby was the first to stir the waters. "Say Old Sport. Why don't I take you out sometimes." He asked nervously. His hands were now shoved in his pocket to feign a calm and collected surface. I wouldn't be fooled that easily. I must have looked quite disapproving of the idea of time together for he quickly added "You can then realize that your surface based judgements are clearly wrong."

"And why should I trust you?" This statement was mostly meant as a joke. Mostly. But I couldn't help the edge that crept into my voice. I had spent so long untrusting of the people around me. The nearly complete trust that I had given to this perfect stranger quite honestly scared me. I needed validation for my lack of inhibitions. 

"Because I'm charming." He added a pointed wink along with his statement. I felt the tug along my heart again. I never quite understood why some people decided to wink. It made them decidedly uncool. But when Gatsby did it, the wink fit exactly right into his personality. He was the type of person who a wink worked with. "So what do you say, are you free tomorrow?"

Tomorrow. 

That was way to soon. I had barely decided if I could trust this man, let alone if I would enjoy his company. I began to think of a million excuses, all of them sound more ridiculous and extravagant that the last. I finally decided that I would go with the simplest answer. "I'm not sure if I am. I just moved in and I have a lot of work...."

"I'm not gonna take no for an answer." He interrupted. "I'm sure you can pull yourself away from work for a little while." He had seen through my lies and his knowing smile told all. I felt my face heat up and tore my eyes away from his face. "Would you like to go see the sights around New York. I happen to know an excellent guide."

Gatsby still was not bothered by my actions. He had given me yet another chance to redeem myself. I would not let him down. I put on my best playful smile and said "And who might this excellent guide be?"

"Me, of course, Old Sport." Another award winning smile. Another twist on my heart. Gatsby really did know how to win people over.

"Well I guess if I'm going to be given a tour from an excellent guide..."

"Perfect. I'll pick you up around noon. It's been a pleasure meeting you Old Sport." He again stuck out his hand for me to shake. I took it and then looked back into his eyes. A moment of understanding passed over the two of us. Whatever had just occurred would be the start of something wonderful.

"I assure you the pleasure was all mine, Mr. Gatsby." With that our first conversation was over. The unspoken promise of many more conversations to come hung delicately in the air. The two of us shared one more perfect smile. 

I felt my heartstrings pull once again as Gatsby turned and began to walk away from my house. It had been a long while since someone new had been that easy to talk too. The promise of tomorrow's plans brought a small smile once again to my face. I then realized what the twists of my heart meant. Oh no. This was bad. This situation was very bad. Talking with Gatsby had made my entire being alight with a new flame of passion. I had to remember why I had chose to be alone. I had to remember why I needed to be alone. Otherwise I think I would fall down a slippery slope. I would just stay friends with Gatsby. That is all.

Just friends.

 

~~~~~~

 

With every step I was carried further and further away from my new neighbor. Once again my assumptions about other people had been proven wrong. This time, however, I couldn't bring myself to give a dam. 

My neighbor -Nick- had been everything I adored in a person and more. Through even the brief interaction we had I could tell that he was an interesting and intellectual man. Not to mention the intense color of his eyes. It was as if an entire ocean of blue was condensed into a single shade and existed within his head. I could drown myself in those eyes of his. Nick represented the better side of humanity and I found myself dying for tomorrow to be here already. 

The ease of which our conversation unfolded was a delightful change from my normal interactions. Most conversations I had felt forced and rough, but with Nick, talking felt like a gentle spring breeze. I knew that it was way to early to think of this, but I could feel myself already falling for the man. 

I decided that, as long as Nick would have me, I would be his for eternity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Old sport enters the chat.


	5. Sunlight. Oh Sunlight.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick is worried about his totally not date with Gatsby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh I'm so sorry this took so long I just completely lost the will to do anything in my life. Sprinkle in some ap tests and you have about a month of procrastination! But I'm back and updates should be more frequent. (hopefully)

My heart beat as if it was going to pull right out of my chest. My legs carried me in a line across my floor. Over and over I paced. It was a few minutes before Gatsby was supposed to pick me up and I was contemplating canceling the entire day. I did not think that I could handle spending time with the man. He made me nervous and I could hardly understand why. The very sight of him made my knees feel as though they were made of jelly, and that was only when I had seen him for barely a moment. I do not know if I could survive being in his presence for long.

Curse these inescapable feelings.

Nervously, I ran my hands through my hair for what felt like the millionth time. I couldn't help but silently curse as I felt the fluff of the strands. Somehow, my hair picked the absolute worst day to become untamable. My naturally curly hair puffed like the plumage of a large bird. I felt like it turned my otherwise proper appearance into a joke. Of course today was the day that my hair decided that this dat- get together with Gatsby was the time the curl must come out full force. 

I stopped my pacing for a moment. this was not the time for my flustered state to get the best of me. I must impress my neighbor. I felt the desire for his approval more than I had felt anything in previous years. This entire mess must be salvaged. 

My pacing had carried me to the bathroom where I looked at my image in the yellowed mirror. I looked like a disaster. Wild hair, made even messier by my constant tugging, framing my face in a halo of black. The bags under my eyes giving my face a grotesque look, similar to the hollows of a dead man. No amount of coffee could salvage the past sleepless nights. The fact that I hadn't seen the sun in days didn't help my complexation either. 

I took another hard look at myself in the mirror, my left hand moving in an attempt to bring back some life into the darkness that had pervaded my life throughout the last week. Throughout the last lifetime if I was being honest. The life I lead was full of stress and misery, doing nothing for my appearance. If my parents could see me now, they would run away in fright. 

I sometimes wish that I could rewrite my entire history. Take the entire book of my life and replace it with something new. Write a happier ending, one that wasn't going to end with me being alone. A world in which I didn't happen into this life, where I could be happy and free. Ignorant to the stench of underground life. I could've had a good life. Full of smiles and laughter. Instead I filled my life full of wicked deeds and half baked lies. Thinking back, I wish I would have stopped myself from walking into that bar, just a short ten years ago. I could have saved myself a load of trouble.

Now is not the time for thoughts like this. The past is dead, the future is what matters.

Stopping myself from any other rambling thoughts, I focused on an attempt to make my face less garish. My other hand came up to join the first, roaming the expanse of my face, searching for any sign that there was a real, breathing human underneath that sad, hopeless exterior. My pale skin felt sunken and hollow against my bones as I roughly pressed and prodded at my cheeks. My lifestyle has made taking care of myself properly quite difficult. In order to keep at the top, I must be constantly ready for any sort of battle. 

Oh if only I could end this strange fight for control. I would finally be able to rest comfortably for a change.

My eyes fluttered shut as a breathy sigh escaped my lips, the tension within my body dropping, even if only for a moment. The idea of a break soothed my entire soul. I really should just cancel this entire outing. Maybe stay home and read a small book. Or maybe even take a nap.

The thought of a nap almost made my knees buckle. I hadn't the time for such things since I was practically an infant. How glorious would it be to curl up, a book by my side, the sound of the bay gently lulling me into a carefully crafted dreamland. My body slowly growing warmer and warmer until I fall deeply into that open, twilight abyss.

The careful darkness called out to every fiber of my soul, wishing my to join those already in a deep sleep. I was so tempted. They're would be other opportunities for social interaction, other chances to win the friendship of my shining neighbor. All I wanted to do right now was sleep.

As if in a trance, I walked over and sat down on the edge of my new couch, not even bothering to remove the ghost-like sheet. The chasm was calling my name and this nap was a one way ticket. I knew that as soon as my face came within inches of the pillow, I would become lost to the void. I leaned back, ready to enjoy a few moments of blissful rest.

Instead of rest, I got a full face of twinkling sunlight. The morning had risen, casting golden rivers through my curtain-less windows. The brightness of the light gave me a sudden flash of mortal thought.

This was Gatsby's gold. The same light that enveloped and bejeweled his face forever into my memory. Perhaps even the same moment of light appeared on my face now. His entire being snapped me back into reality faster than the shot from Jordan's gun. Images of his dazzling smile grew and shouted into the darkness, pulling me fully back into rational awareness.

How could I have even thought about allowing the bliss of sleep to overcome my existence when a man as great as Gatsby was taking time out of his most important life to deal with me. What a fool I was. No matter how much I was intimidated by this man, no matter what my feelings about him may entail, I could not let my fear get the best of me. I must face this problem head on.

With the resolve of a champion, I stood up to face the door. I must go out with this man today. I would get myself into his good graces and the intimidation would fade like the beauty of a rose. It was fate -pure luck- that connected Gatsby and I in the first place. I would be mad to ignore such a sign. The light shining into my eyes was the hope Gatsby had displayed for our relationship. I could not let him down.

A wonderful friendship was at stake.

With one last doubtful look into the mirror, I grabbed my coat and went to wait outside. I could better stay awake if I was basking in the light of Gatsby in all his glory.

Stepping fully into the sunshine, I was greeted by the sight of a yellow car sitting alone in my driveway. The paint practically shimmering in the golden rays of the sun. This car was clearly new, and obviously quite expensive. The gorgeous creation held my attention for a while longer than it should have. I perhaps was feeling a little to awestruck, for it took me a moment to notice the man fumbling in the seat.

It was a sight that was not nearly as glamorous as the car in my drive. Perhaps in an attempt to feign fashionable indifference, Gatsby was perching himself on the dashboard of his car. However, he was slightly failing. Well not just slightly he was completely and utterly failing. 

His limbs spoke to his restless nature, bouncing and shaking, never once coming to rest in their own space. His right arm was wildly pushing back his hair while his left was making a gesture to the wind. Almost like he was rehearsing for some big speech. 

I found myself enchanted by his movements. My body became rooted to my porch and I couldn't tear my eyes away from what felt like a private moment between him and himself. The way he was moving reminded me of a small dog I had once seen excitedly dancing around without a care in the world. It was frankly quite adorable. I felt a small grin make it's way into my face. This was way better than any form of nap I could ever hope to achieve.

What set me on fire was when Gatsby's right leg slipped out from under him and his entire body fell, the delicate balance broken. He was off for what only could have been a few seconds, but the result was his face stretched into a shocked expression. Oh how that expression looked. A mix of perfect unexpected emotion. Eyes wide, lips parted, he looked perfect even like that. But I still couldn't help myself. Without a care in the world, a small giggle broke its way throughout my heart.

"Having trouble there sir?" My small giggle had broken into a full force laugh. The event wasn't nearly as funny as I had previously thought but laughter is always a good way to break any sort of nervous tension. Maybe with the blunder, we would both be on even footing, at least embarrassment wise.

Gatsby had turned his head and saw me standing there on that porch. Immediately, a small tint of pink made its way onto his cheeks.   
Hmm. I would have assumed it would have taken more for a man such as him to blush. Not just an embarrassing situation. I guess he hadn't really noticed me watching him.

"You do know how rude it is to spy on others?" Ever quick to regain his composure, Gatsby responded rapid fire. How he always knew the right words to say left a similar shade of pink on my own cheeks.

"You do know how rude it is to wait outside someone's house without their knowledge?" I attempted to follow suit with his quick responses, but a slight bit of hurt worked its way into his eyes. Oh dear. That wasn't what I had hoped for at all. Somehow I always say the wrong things. Quick. I need to rectify the situation. I added, "I'm only teasing." In the softest voice I could work up.

Gatsby once again broke out into his easygoing smile and I felt my heart give a little jump at the sight. His smile could rival the greatest of paintings in the entirety of human history. He was a muse, born out of pure sunlight, blessing the world one bright smile at a time. Gatsby and his smile could rival the goddess Aphrodite and her beauty. In response to my tease, he let out a little chuckle of his own and I swear I had never heard anything as sweet as that wonderful sound. That is until I heard his voice make it's way over to my ears.

"I didn't know you were such a rebel Nick."

The way my name fell from his lips was almost a promise of more to come. Every breath brought us closer and closer to the our inevitable. Our friendship that is. The only thing I could take from Gatsby was friendship. But it wouldn't hurt to make him simile at me again. "There are a lot of things you don't know about me."

The bright once again haloed his face as another laugh escaped his lips. "I guess I'll have to learn them then. Come on Nick. New York is waiting for us."

New York. The home of possibilities. It felt right that I was going to explore my home with this man. Of course he could never realize just how well I knew the entirety of the city. How every street was engraved into my heart.

"Coming," I said, making my way over to the side of his car. He turned his body, flopping back down into the drivers area and leaned over to open the door for me. What a gentlemanly thing to do. 

Once settled into my seat next to Gatsby's right side, I asked him "Where are we going?" At this point I was brimming with excitement over the possibilities held within today's outing. I could nearly feel my heart leap out of my chest at the thought of an entire day spent in the company of this man.

"I was thinking that we would drive around New York for a while. So I could show you all the prettiest sights." His sentence was punctuated with a wink and I could feel my cheeks begin to warm once again. How I wish I could tell him that the prettiest sight was right before me when he smiled.

Nervously, a small laugh broke its was through my lips. I wasn't used to this sort of behavior having such a visible effect on me. I needed to play it cool. We were just gonna be friends. That's all.

"You should laugh more. You look really pretty when you smile like that." 

Somehow my cheeks became even rosier. I guess the blinding sun had finally gotten to my complexion. No other reason. None at all. 

With one final laugh, we began to make our way into the thicket of New York. The promise of a full day spent growing the blossom of our relationship to a wonderful budding friendship made me ache for time to hurry its pace. The museums. The shows. An entire future awaited for me and Gatsby. All we had to do was make it out of the eggs and into the world of New York.

Faster and faster we drove towards the sun. Making our way into the brilliant light of New York City.

~~~~~~

I had spent an entire day with Nick and could now tell that if he ever left my life, I would be crushed.

We were on our way back from our trip around New York, my car driving ever so softly into the fading sunlight, when my eyes glanced over at the man next to me. Somehow, he had gently fallen asleep, perfectly relaxed, his body resting along with the car. Today we were supposed to see the prettiest sights of New York. It was a shame that Nick had to miss the real prettiest sight. His hair flowing ever so slowly in the wind, making his peaceful expression ever closer to that of an angel. In fact if god were alive, this scene would be inspiration for a new set of beings, all modeled to be as good and just as my Nick.

The soft scene in front of me allowed my thoughts to slip comfortably into reflection on the events of today as I drove the two of us ever closer to our homes.

The morning started with his sweet smile, staring at me as I made a fool of myself. I couldn't care less about my own appearance, but he looked like practically the best person in existence at that very moment. His hair looked perfectly touchable and his eyes were as bright and thoughtful as ever. I could have died a happy man, then and there, as long as that was the last thing I saw.

But then he somehow topped his beautiful smile with his own melodious giggle, making my heart flutter and my brain full with ideas on how I could make sure he never stopped his laughter. It started soft, but slowly grew until it was the only sound I could ever wish to hear again.

Even his existence seemed to bring a new joy to the world around me. Driving around New York, listening to his comments and quips, this is what I imagine to await everyone in heaven. Everything uttered from his lips was so perfectly interesting, it made me almost weep with joy. Finding this intelligent man so soon after the dissatisfaction I felt from the discovery of my rivals true identity felt like fate more than anything. Nick was the prefect man and I would be a fool to let him slip from my grasp.

I had only known him for a day, but I had already fallen deep for this man and his sweet face and adorable personality.

I would do anything to make this man mine forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woot woot! Another chapter done! This one wasn't technically supposed to exist, but I couldn't leave without writing it. Again so sorry for such a long hiatus, but it's summer, I've got my hat on backward, and it's time to HECKING party!


	6. Heartsick Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick begins to get ready to meet his friends for the first time in a week. But is this another knock to the door?????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took like literally forever I'm just feeling weird and writing is hard work. Anyways enjoy this flaming trash garbage!

My heart pushed rapidly inside my chest as I stumbled and danced around my home. My music player had finally arrived the day before and I had been making up for lost time. I bobbed my head along to the tune playing. In an attempt to life my spirits I had chosen my favorite album and set it to play as I got ready for today's outing. It had been too long since I had the ability to listen to music like this and I intended to make the most of it.

My quick, graceful steps carried me next to my desk and I gently shifted through the papers, searching for the ones I needed, I had to make sure that I had everything of importance before I went to visit my friends at their new apartments. It had been a week since I saw them and I was anxiously awaiting to tell them about the adventures I had been on with my next door neighbor.

Gatsby and I had hung out twice within the time it took me to get settled fully into my home. The first was when we drove into New York and grabbed a bite to eat for lunch. The food of course was wonderful; made even lovelier by the conversation between us. That was the first time the two of us had been alone together. The words between us flowed with the intense knowledge of those who were connected on the deepest level of human understanding. Talking to Gatsby like that was breathtaking. I rarely met anther person who I shared such a profound bond with, and even fewer people who felt the same bond towards me. 

Of course I then had to ruin the evening by falling asleep on the ride home. I will never be able to apologize enough for that. 

However, ever the gentleman, Gatsby was not deterred by my rude and uncalled for behavior. Almost immediately after the first date, Gatsby invited me over for a late-night cigar on the deck of his expansive home. More like a castle even, the vast gardens and large pool inspiring my imagination to run wild with the possibilities of stories to write. The story of the night was much of a disaster instead. The cards were dealt and it turned out that neither I nor Gatsby smoked. I couldn't stand the way the tobacco tasted and Gatsby had trouble with his lungs during his youth so he wrote off smoking entirely. 

The tales of Gatsby's childhood, every story, every tidbit, enchanted the image of him in my mind. He had seen and done so much already, even though he was barely three years my senior. Every word that fell from his lips painted a picture full of adventure and life that I could never even hope to achieve. Even with the air of distaste he felt towards his younger self, I couldn't help but fall desperately into the web of his existence.

It had reached the apex where I could no longer deny the fluttering of my stomach when I thought of my time spent with Gatsby. Everything about the man lured me, deeper and deeper, into my feelings for him. The way he talked, every line working to spin a tale that had never been and never will be again. His world entrancing my entire being as I clung to word after word. Gatsby could have told me nothing but lies, yet I still would have hung off of every word that made its way out from the pink of his lips, like a dog holding onto its favorite toy. 

Every second I spent in his presence stitched the secret of life into the fabric of our own little world. The two of us finding the meaning of existence in every moment spent together, time coming to a standstill. Nothing mattering but the sweetness exchanged between the two of us.

A sudden record scratch drew me from my thoughts of Gatsby. The music had played itself out. Time for reality to shift its way back. I lifted my arms up and began to nervously run my fingers through my hair. Gatsby was just a friend. No matter what my heart was telling me that is all he could ever view me as, and I couldn't afford to think of him in any other way. The logical half of my brain must prevail. This life is not fair, made even worse by the line of my work. 

From this point on I would stop any such feelings from bubbling their way to the surface. No matter how Gatsby's charm might effect my lonely heart.

Halfheartedly, I made my way over to the record player and set the album to play one final time. I had a place to be after all. This was the world I live in. Chaos and speed were commonplace. There was no time for dreams. Reality was a harsh mistress and I was at her beck and call. 

The first notes began to make their way ever so gently over my mind and I worked to allow the soothing melody take the place of my crushed hope, my hands working deftly to pack away all of the slips and receipts to take to my friends. Moving quickly, with no space for my mind to wander, I competed my work within moments. I was all packed and ready. All that was needed to make the trip to visit my friends was a cab. 

The obstacle between me and my friends was the unwillingness I had to pick up a phone and call. I hated the pleasantries that came with phone conversations. I hated the harsh ringing in my ears. I hated having to interact with others over the phone, but it was a necessary evil that came with my lack of driving skills. I swear some careless drivers like myself should never be given the opportunity to drive at all, but at least I'm not as bad as Daisy.

No more procrastinating. I needed to see my friends again. More then I needed oxygen itself. I made my way back over to the phone and called a taxi company I knew that would be readily available for my area. The conversation was fast, which was perfect for me, the taxi company saying that someone could pick me up in the next few minutes. I began to do one final check of my things, my heart swelling with the giddiness of friendship.

The swinging notes of the next song slipped over my mind. It was my favorite of the album. The lighthearted beat and heavily symbolic lyrics had found a place within my well guarded heart. Without even realizing, I had begun to tap my foot to the rhythm. The taxi would take a few minutes; Maybe one more dance wouldn't hurt.

For the rest of the song, I moved easily around my new home, my legs spinning me faster and faster, twirling me around in circle after circle. If only my parents could see me now! They would be so disappointed and I wouldn't be forced to give a single care! No longer trapped within their ideal image, I was free to do whatever I pleased. Even if the twirling made my head feel as though puffs of cotton were stuffed inside my brain and even if I accidentally became the leader of a gang.

With a final crash of the notes, I completed my dance and grasped the edge of a chair to steady myself. I hadn't had the chance to move like that in years. An image flashed across my mind: the look of horror that would have most likely adorned my fathers face if he had just seen my behavior. With the rigidity of my childhood I doubted that the man had ever seen me as happy as that dancing had just made me feel. I couldn't help myself; a small giggle made its way out of my mouth.

Soon, that little giggle had expanded into full-blown laughter. I might have been going a bit mad. This week had been the longest I had spent without even a phone call from my best friends. Normally, we were all in such close proximity because we knew nothing else. The closeness was nice the majority of the time, albeit a tad suffocating. I truly enjoyed the time with my friends and hoped they found comfort in my presence as well. 

My laughter was interrupted by a gentle knock to my door. For a brief moment, I thought to my disheveled appearance, my hair most likely a mess and face flushed beyond all belief. I took a moment as an attempt to tame the wild curls upon my head before opening the door hesitantly.

Standing there in a baby-blue suit that wonderfully contrasted the tan of his golden skin was Gatsby himself. Our eyes met for only a moment before his gaze shifted to examine the flush of my face and wreck that was my hair. He must have been embarrassed on my behalf, because I saw a slight blush begin to make its way onto his cheeks. I must have made him uncomfortable. Neither of us spoke for a moment, so to break the tension I greeted the man with a shy smile, "Gatsby hello. What a wonderful surprise."

He stuttered for a moment before replying hastily, "I can come back-"

"Oh no I have time. I have time." It was true. I always had time for Gatsby. Ever since the day his smile first graced my life I knew I would always have time for him. "What do you need?"

It appears that he had regained some of his previous bravado, as he began his next sentence with a voice of timid confidence I could only dream of; the combination suiting Gatsby's still subtly pink face. "Are you sure? I heard your laughter and I just assumed you were with someone."

Of course Gatsby would assume that some secret friend had come to spend their day with me, telling jokes and making comments. But instead I had been deliriously laughing to myself about the wild circumstances of my life. It was kind of him to think the best of me, even though I was about to mildly disappoint his idea of me. "No. It's just me. I was just about to head out so I'm glad you caught me"

"Wonderful- I mean it's not wonderful that you're alone, you don't deserve to ever be alone." he rambled, hands beginning to gesture rapidly, "Though I'm glad I caught you at the right moment because I have something really important to ask you and-"

"Gatsby." However adorable his stuttering was, I wanted him to feel comfortable with my presence. I reached a hand out to stop the rapid swinging of his own and held him for a moment. His hands were unfairly warm, a divine contrast to my constant frigidity. A quick squeeze was the only coherent thing I could manage before I had the need to drop his hand. We were only friends after all. Friends and nothing more.

My movement must have worked to calm the other man's nerves, for his next sentence came out as less of a stutter. "You aren't a cop or anything are you?"

I couldn't help the little lovesick giggle that escaped my lips. It was extremely sweet that Gatsby felt like I was good. Good enough to be an agent of law enforcement. Even if his perception of me couldn't be farther off. "I'm not a cop Gatsby."

"That's great. Well cops are good and all," The stress put on the word good clicked something within my brain. The tone was familiar but I couldn't place from where. I knew that tone. The reason for the tilt of Gatsby's voice excited me. I desperately needed to figure out where in the world I understood the exact implications of that little voice shift. Gatsby had once again dragged me closer to his being with the simplest action. Everything about this man intrigued me past the point of no return. "but if you were a cop that might have thrown a wrench in my plans."

Almost teasingly, I felt my voice rise as a response to his mesmerizing rambling. He had obviously come here to ask something important of me and the anticipation felt suffocating. "Is that all you came here to ask me? My occupation?"

"Oh no I forgot the actual question didn't I." Gatsby let out a small, almost self-deprecating laugh and I swear no one should ever be allowed to sound as perfect as Gatsby when he laughed. 

Continuing, Gatsby finally got to the point of his visit, "Well I managed to figure out the password for one of the most exclusive speakeasies and. I was wondering if you'd like to join me for a drink. This week. At the place. Maybe- I mean you don't have too."

"Gatsby Id love to go. What place is it?"

"The Starlight Mirage" A strangled gasp worked its way out of my lips. The Starlight Mirage was a Great One establishment. My men had been working for years to crack into the place and somehow, fate had given me an in. I couldn't help the large smile that made its way onto my face. At the sight of my Cheshire grin, Gatsby's voice filled with almost child-like excitement, "Have you ever been to there before? I've heard that the Great One throws the best parties and that he may even be there himself the night we go.

"That certainly sounds interesting." I meant it. The idea of being in such close proximity with my rival filled me with ideas of revenge. This was my chance. I could destroy the man who flipped my life upside down. I could hardly dream of a better opportunity.

I lifted my eyes, eagerly ready to accept the bright man's offer. However, I was met with another glimpse of his radiant smile and felt my plan shatter before my eyes. Gatsby's genuine pride that came with knowing about such an exclusive topic dashed any hope I had for working my way to the destruction of the special night he planned. I couldn't do something that would hurt Gatsby. I cared to deeply for the man.

No. That had to be wrong. Gatsby was only a friend, I decided he would only be a friend. How had I placed his happiness so far above my safety? I barely even knew him! Yet I couldn't deny the fluttering of my heart, of my willingness to keep him smiling. I need to stop this Gatsby can only be a friend. I have to stop falling for him. My eyes met his once more, and he gave me another flash of his wonderful smile, waiting ever so patiently for my answer. A small part of my brain short-circuited at the sight. 

Maybe, maybe I don't mind this fall. 

How easy it was to fall for this man terrified me. It had barely been a week and I already was throwing around the idea of love. With a man who couldn't ever possible love me back no less. This was the first time such feelings had ever filled my heart. The strength of the emotions I felt dragged me images of my parents own failed marriage. Of the fights and the shouting. I could never stand that happening to me, but that was the only example of love I had ever seen before. I couldn't force Gatsby to repeat that with me. 

I needed to talk to Jordan about what love is. She would be able to help me. Luckily, the cab I had called what felt like ages ago finally drove up my driveway. In an attempt to mask my new revelation, my voice came out colder then I wanted. "I have to get going now. See you then."

I gave nothing but a short wave before brushing past him off of the porch. My heart ached to turn back around and give a proper goodbye to the man that held my fragile heart within his hands unknowingly. But until I could understand my emotions better, I would have to leave myself heartsick.

 

~~~~~~

 

I glanced down to my hand, still feeling the softness of Nick's within my own. His hand was oddly cold, but it felt right against my warmth. I wish he would have held my hand for longer. Well, that could have caused my brain to stop functioning harder than it already had from the sight of him. Nick had been unfairly adorable, his face flushed and his hair looking perfectly soft and puffy. I could barely hold back the blush that made its way onto my face.

I think that interaction went surprisingly well. Especially considering my obvious attraction to the man. With the stuttering. I nearly blew it on the stuttering. I can't believe I almost made a fool of myself in front of the man who holds my heart, so gently, in the palms of his hands.

Well. Maybe I did make a fool of myself. The final goodbye he gave me felt stiff and uncomfortable coming from his mouth. Nick's mood has switched in an instant, almost immediately after I mentioned my hidden identity. Maybe he had previous experience with my gang and it possibly could have went wrong. As things are so readily available to do. But not to worry. I would change his opinion to a positive one yet.

Nick Carraway, get ready to be seduced by the Great Gatsby himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nick: Hnnng I can't fall in love with Gatsby he obviously doesn't like me back like he's probably not even gay.
> 
> Gatsby: *in a bright blue suit* hey you wanna go on a date?
> 
>  
> 
> Again sorry for the wait, life and my brain both have decided now is the time to murder me. Anyways this chapter sucks and the next one may be better if it gets out soon! Peace out home slices

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter one is done! Woo that was a doosey. I swear the next chapter is better. Also in anyone was a little bit confused Gatsby is who the perspective changes to in the end.


End file.
